Monkeyfish

Germs

Kendra suggested that Monkeyfish share the single spoon that came with her Dippin Dots at the zoo. Her response: "I'll get *germs,* crazy woman!"

Executive Branch Material

I'm having a rather stern conversation with Monkeyfish about lying. Why we don't, what the consequences might be, issues of trust, etc. She listens politely, then interjects this hypothetical:

"Daddy, what if there were ten dinosaurs standing near you, and I told you there was only one dinosaur standing near you? And then I said to myself – in my head – that the other dinosaurs were just waiting in line."

You Don't Say

Monkeyfish has adopted a new, all-purpose adjective:

"Can you walk a little further, kiddo?"
"No. I'm too honky."

"How was your day?"
"It was honky."

"You did a great job!"
"I'm a very honky girl."

Extraction

“Dad,” asked Monkeyfish. “Do you know what Night Mode is?”

“Night Mode?” I asked, thinking of infra-red cameras, or the “Black Dash” setting in our friends’ old Saab. “I think so.”

“Well, we will need it to be dark when we play Evil Tooth Fairy.”

“Um, what is Evil Tooth Fairy?”

“The Evil Tooth Fairy has really good lookers, so it can see in the dark. And it has really good ears so it can hear in the dark.”

“Oh.”

“It doesn't need to turn on the lights. It just comes into your room and pinches your teeth out. One by one.”

“Oh.”

“And it puts them into a jar and the fox puts stink into the jar.”

“Do you mean the skunk puts stink in the jar?” I asked.

“Yes, the skunk.”

“Well,” I said, “that is a story I’m glad I didn’t know when I was your age.”

“How old were you when you were my age? Three and a half?”

"Yes."

Wow

Results

I thought I would be euphoric. Instead, I'm merely guardedly optimistic. However:

Accountability in government. Hooray.

Go Vote

Have a good day, Democracy. And if anyone tries to steal your lunch money, beat the shit out of them.

George W. and George M.

Nicely done.

Nummy? New-Me? Numb-I?

However you say it, I hope that Nume stuff finds a stateside distributor.

Timewaster

Red.

Look, We’ve Got Enough Problems.

Um...did these guys just invent ice-nine?

Supermodels in velvet pants: you have been warned.

Our dining chairs look like this. They are Navy Chairs by Emeco, and we chose them because we love the aesthetic. The lines are very traditional, but the material (welded aluminum) is a nice counterpoint to this staid styling. We thought that they would have a long design shelf life.

Durability was also a concern; I have distinct memories of the flimsy wooden dining chairs of my childhood coming unglued at every joint. Finally the set was reduced to a group of shaky impostors and the two "good chairs" which were carefully staged before each meal in a switcheroo reminiscent of the Pellet with the Poison scene in The Court Jester. The Emeco chairs, by contrast, are so bulletproof that they will still be around when the heat death of the universe makes sitting in an all-metal chair a very uncomfortable proposition.
However, that attractive brushed aluminum finish presents a problem.

My wife is, well, how to put this? Whatever the opposite of "Bootylicious" is. Bootylackish? Bonylicious? Having my wife sit in your lap is as delightful as having any lovely woman sit in your lap, with one caveat: you must also imagine the woman has a golf ball in each back pocket.

When she snagged one of the dining chairs to use as an office chair, we began to notice a disturbing trend. She was wearing through pants at a rate that was simply alarming. It took us some time, but we finally made the connection between cause and effect. That brushed metal finish is slightly abrasive. If you spend hours at a time in the aluminum chair, and there is a friction point (or two...).

In a move born of pure fiscal responsibility, we decided to upgrade her to a Mirra chair to match mine. I've been extremely happy with my Mirra. It's a less-expensive alternative to the Aeron, with the same functionality. Hopefully, the fabric mesh seat of the Mirra will pay for itself in pants in a few months.

Designer Wallpaper

That is, wallpaper, for your computer, about design.

Visit the Flickr photo pool.

September 11

My most vivid memory related to September 11, 2001 happened not on the day the towers fell, but a few days later. My wife and I were in Venice during the attack, and of course we were stranded there. (Lovely place to be stranded.) The Italians had organized a moment of silence out of respect for the victims of the terrorists. As we walked near the Ponte di Rialto, an area filled with tiny shops, the shopkeepers all stepped out of their shops and observed three minutes of silent solidarity with the United States.

The only sound was a hundred variations on “Excuse me, excuse me! How much does this cost?” spoken by oblivious American tourists.

Here There Be Dragons

Check out Newsmap.

It’s a map. Of the news.

Sequence for Kids

Tired of Candyland? What’s up with that ugly new board? It looks like it was designed by a freakin’ cereal-box illustrator...

...Hey, wait a minute! [Conspiracy theory begins to percolate]

Monkeyfish loves Sequence for Kids. If you’ve played the adult version, you know how to play this: the "For Kids" simply means that cartoons of animals are substituted for the suits and pips of traditional cards.

Game play is very simple, but there is an element of strategy; we currently play with her cards face up so we can help her with this. But she’s quickly learning the ropes. An added bonus is that the cards with pictures and words serve as flash cards. My daughter likes to identify the letters and sound out the words as we play. 1-4 players, ages 3 and up.

A Serious Note

This is everywhere, and you’ve probaby already seen it, but in case you haven’t, it needs to be seen:

Video: Keith Olbermann Blasts Rumsfeld [YouTube]

Take a Light Jacket

I knew this was coming, but still, it's freaking me out a little. Light-emitting fabric from Philips.

But seriously, technology guys: quit screwing around and get to work on my freakin’ jetpack!

Mmmm...Delicious Irony

Overheard on the Brown Line: “I can’t stand hearing people with Southern accents talking. All I can think about is the bigotry in the South.”

Sweet

Today, for the first time ever, I pulled the entire consumer-protection seal off a new jar of peanut butter. One tug. No tearing, no swearing, and no little half-ring of recalcitrant paper fuzz.

I feel like The Fonz.